


Lessons in Flirting and Subtlety

by Lexebug



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Karkat Swearing, Karkat doesn't know how human romance works, M/M, Meteorstuck, Sloppy Makeouts, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character, he's doing his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 07:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12383859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexebug/pseuds/Lexebug
Summary: Karkat really, really doesn't know how to flirt. At all. But that's not gonna stop him from trying.





	Lessons in Flirting and Subtlety

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is???? i had time to kill

"So, Karkat, what you need to do is not be subtle. At all. Make your intentions known, and make it very clear what you want in the relationship. Human relationships are like if you combined flushed and pale romance. Let Dave know you care about him, not only as a moirail, but as a matesprit. Have you considered pinning him down to tell him, so he can't scramble away from you?" Karkat hunched over his now lukewarm cup of coffee, trying his best to listen to what Rose was saying. It was kind of hard, though, because Kanaya was in the background giggling about who knows what, and Rose was obviously fighting back laughter. Whatever. This sounded like a pretty solid plan, and if the only person on this ship in a successful relationship was telling him this, he was gonna trust her. 

"Thanks, Rose. Any idea where Dave is?" Karkat asked, walking over to dump the coffee down the drain. Rose visibly paled, and Kanaya snorted.

"Are-are you doing this now?"

"No time like the present, right? Might as well. Is he in his room?" Kanaya burst into a fit of laughter, and Rose nervously shrugged. Karkat eyed them suspiciously, but left them alone. It did seem like a good plan, right? He headed down the hallway towards Dave's room, where he could already hear faint musical notes coming from. When he reached the door, he paused. It sounded like Dave was busy; he'd been talking about that new song for a while, and seemed excited. He angrily shrugged off the doubts; this was going to be fine. Dave obviously felt something for him. He had to, or this was going to end disastrously and be supremely embarrassing. Not giving himself any more time to overthink and change his mind, he kicked open the door. A confident entrance means a confident delivery, which means success. 

Dave jumped and paused his music quickly, pulling his hands from the dials and pulling his headphones off his ears. "Jesus, Karkat. Do trolls not knock or something?" Karkat growled, trying to keep his cool. He couldn't back out now.

"Cut the shit Dave. I'm here." Rose obviously didn't prepare him enough for this; Dave looked confused and vaguely amused, a half-smile twitching at his lips. 

"So you are. Was there something you needed, or just stop by the kick in my door and scream for a bit, then leave?" Time for phase two. Karkat strode over and pulled Dave up by the forearms and pushed him backwards, pinning his wrists to the wall. Dave was struggling against him, and Karkat let him; this was supposed to be mutual, or some shit. "What the hell are you doing?" Dave asked, angry. At least he wasn't scared. A step in the right direction. 

"My fucking best, Dave. Now shut up." Karkat let one of Dave's wrists go, and reached for his shades. Dave took this opportunity to flail his now free hand in Karkat's face, and try and push his fingers away. Karkat was persistent, though; he wrestled the glasses off of Dave's face, tossing them into a corner. Dave squinted, and then glared at Karkat.

"Listen, is this some sort of weird black-rom thing? Because we've discussed this, I don't understand and I don't want to." He was relenting. Karkat pinned his hand up on the wall again, which was a little difficult considering the height difference. 

"No, you fucker. This is normal human flirting, and you are ruining it with your shitty attitude." Dave choked, and started laughing. "What?"

"Who exactly told you this was flirting? Because they were fucking with you. This is _not_ how flirting is supposed to work." And with that, Karkat visibly deflated, slumping over. Rose, that absolute bastard, she'd conned him. He looked up, ready to apologize, but Dave was smiling. Karkat removed his hands from where they were trapping Dave's, and Dave reached out to cup his face gently. "Hey, I only said it wasn't conventional. I didn't say it wasn't working." What seemed like very suddenly, Karkat was pulled closer to Dave, and their lips met. He froze.

Wow. This was both exactly like he imagined, and literally nothing like it. After a few moments, Dave pulled back, smirking. Fucking smirking. “It’s normally better if you move your lips.” Karkat nodded, because of course he knew this, what idiot didn’t? Certainly not him. He pushed forward again, tilting his head to the side and pressing his mouth onto Dave’s, carefully parting his lips. Very slightly. Like, barely at all, but still. Dave ran his hands up Karkat’s back, and he shivered, mouth opening more almost naturally. And suddenly they were moving together, him and Dave, and Dave’s teeth scraped Karkat’s bottom lip and that was so good Karkat felt close to tears. He traced his fingers up Dave’s shoulders, moving carefully over the strap of his binder, and finally settling his hands in Dave’s hair. When Dave bit his bottom lip Karkat pulled on instinct, far more gentle than he’d normally be, but Dave seemed to choke on some sort of quiet noise. Experimentally, Karkat tugged on his hair again, and Dave groaned into his mouth, pulling back, his eyes fluttering closed. Karkat pulled his fingers through his hair, and Dave surged forward, but went for Karkat’s neck this time. Karkat knew he would probably regret this later, but right now he could feel Dave mouthing along his jawline, and damn if it didn’t feel good. This was worth whatever might come after. 

The aftermath turned out to be dark reddish-purple bruises, up and down Karkat’s neck. “Dave, is that a bite mark?” Karkat asked, staring in the bathroom mirror at the mark on his collarbone. 

“Yep. And hey, you weren’t exactly complaining when I gave it to you,” Dave added, waggling his eyebrows. Karkat rolled his eyes, but smiled at Dave in the mirror. 

When they left the bathroom, Kanaya just happened to be standing directly outside the bathroom door, and she retreated quickly down the hallway. Karkat slapped a hand over his neck and glared after her. Rose smirked at him when he came in for breakfast the next morning with a gray turtleneck, bags under his eyes, and Dave tagging along after him. He flipped her off.

It was so worth the aftermath.


End file.
